I will rip out pages
I will underline the works cited and I will highlight the source
I will copy and I will paste and I will find out who is in charge

Because I am not in charge here, I'm not making decisions

I would not have loved you
I would not have fallen asleep with my feet on your lap and I would not have come to see you in this kind of weather, I've never been one to brave the storm

I will research and I will email and I will telephone anyone I can find who can be in charge of things

Someone has to be in charge of things

I would have never let myself kiss your shoulder
I would have never traced the lines of your stomach

I would have never let you love me and I would never love you

I would disappear into my mess of papers and highlights and underlines and yellow sticky notes


I would have disappeared before I ever let you near me

But if I'm in charge, and the work cited is me and the highlights and underlines and sticky notes led me straight to me...


Does that mean you're invisible too?